Whispers in the cold scratch the thick air
a soft, quivering sound nobody but the keenest would notice.
It bounces off walls and echos off the ceiling
blanketing the small, lonely room with holy torment.
Pleas and confessions surf the static sound
bulging with liquid desperation
and moistening the air like a London fog.
Wisps of sadness and bolts of anger
hum and twirl as a defeated soul rests his head
on a damp pillow
with only a frightening silence to comfort him.
Whatever happened to running around in circles?
Energy overflowing like water in a cannonballed pool
the happiest you ever felt
was springing back and forth over a jet of water meant to water a lawn, greener than the salty ocean and brighter than a smiling face
Allergy bumps, skinned knees, knotted heads, scabs, scrapes, bruises, and scars.
Testimonials of fun and fun themselves.
An entire day poking rolly-polies and climbing impossible mountains
Playing in the invisible kingdom of maypretend
and humming to yourself the themesong of your favorite cartoon
while driving a race car along the wall.
Luck is a rather common topic in my thought life. Mostly because of how non-lucky I am. And I say non-lucky because I can’t necessarily consider myself unfortunate and I’m most definitely not lucky. Really, as a Christian, I shouldn’t believe in luck at all. I mean, I know that luck is a relic left over from a conglomerate of pagan and defunct religions hailing mostly from the island country of the United Kingdom. And I also know that God is out there and He also happens to be in control of pretty much everything. So, whether good or bad, things that happen in my life can’t really be outside of His grand scheme. But I just can’t bear to blame God for all the stupid and bad crap in my life, so I tend to blame myself. Or, at least, I blame the part of myself I have absolutely no control over: meaning, my fortune. So, when something good happens in my life it’s God’s blessing and when something bad happens outside of my control it’s my bad luck. And, I know I know, that is a pretty stupid and depressing outlook on life.
Well, I think, on that uplifting note. I shall end this first, disastrous blog entry and call it an evening. Maybe Old Sam’ll inspire me tomorrow.
